Shadows Are Forever
by Higuchimon
Summary: [one-shot, Yu-Gi-Oh Pairings Challenge, Jounouchi x Yami no Malik/Yami no Malik x Jounouchi, Fadeshipping] Jounouchi is going to find that you cannot destroy shadows with light, or with darkness. Shadows are forever.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters presented here and am not making any profit off of this whatsoever.  
**Title:** Shadows Are Forever  
**Word Count:** 7,490  
**Rated:** PG-13  
**Romance:** Yami no Malik x Jounouchi  
**Notes:** This is set five years after the Ceremonial Duel and was written for the second season of the Yu-Gi-Oh Pairings Challenge. Comments and criticism gratefully accepted.  
**Summary:** Jounouchi is going to find that you cannot kill shadows with light, or with darkness. Shadows are forever.

* * *

He walked by himself. That wasn't the usual thing for Jounouchi to do, as he had more than enough friends so he'd never be alone unless he chose to. Tonight, that was the choice he'd made. The others weren't all busy, but he had things on his mind, and he didn't want to bother them with his own thoughts.

Though to be accurate, what he had on his mind wasn't a _thing_. He would've called the focus of his thoughts that once before, but now, he wasn't so sure. The difference had come somewhere. He didn't know where, and he wondered if it even mattered. But it had come, and that was all there was to it.

What he was thinking about, _who_ he was thinking about, was Malik Ishtar's darkness. That twisted, repulsive, vicious, amoral, _im_moral beast that had been created in the darkest times of the Egyptian's life, created to feed off of Malik's anger and rage and everything else he'd never wanted to acknowledge, growing stronger and stronger, held back only by Rishid, and when Rishid had fallen…the darkness had risen.

Jounouchi hated that darkness. Truth to be told, he hated all darkness. There was something so different about the beast that lived inside of Malik, though. He didn't want to call it by that same name, even though it was the only one it had or had insisted on. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his hands around that shadow and squeeze until there wasn't anything left at all.

Only that couldn't be done. Malik had wrested control back from his other side, and with Rishid being awake again, there was no way that the other one could walk around. Even if he fell into another coma, without the power of the Millennium Rod, Malik's darkness was gone forever, unable to do anything besides possibly mill about helplessly in the depths of Malik's mind.

There were places where the marks of what had happened still remained, even though five years had flown by since Battle City. Mai had devoted herself even more to dueling professionally, and was rising quickly in the Pro Leagues. He didn't want to call her a girlfriend, especially since the two of them weren't actually dating. He cared about her more than he'd ever cared about any female before, but it wasn't love. It was probably one of the strongest friendships he had, barring the one with Yuugi. He was pretty sure she felt the same way, too.

He shivered a little in the late autumn air as he made his way along the crowded streets of Domino. His jacket was enough to keep the cold out, but he hadn't been shivering because of the weather.

One of the other marks of what had happened was the fact not a day went by that he didn't think of that living darkness in some way or another. If it was only catching sight of another blond somewhere in a crowd who reminded him of spiky hair and cruel words, or just seeing Yuugi, and remembering all they'd gone through over the years, something always drew his mind back to those precious hours spent on the Battle Ship with evil incarnate.

And if none of that happened, he was certain to dream about it every night, whether he wanted to or not. Night after night, he relived the moments when the darkness had taken over, the gleaming Eye of Horus emblazoned on Malik's forehead, the spikes even spikier, the muscles more pronounced, and the insanity all but blazing in those pale violet eyes.

They weren't always dreams of what had happened, though. Sometimes they were dreams of…other things. Of hands caressing him in places no one else had ever touched, of lips hovering close enough to his skin that he could feel the soft ins and outs of breathing. Those were dreams he didn't tell anyone about, not even Yuugi, who had heard of most of his dreams many times over.

_Can't keep on thinking about that! I'm almost twenty-two!_ He berated himself thusly several times a day, but when night fell and he went to sleep, the dreams kept on coming back, each time more and more vivid than the one before. If it ever got to a point where he couldn't decide what was real and what was a dream, he didn't know what he would do.

Without thinking about it, he turned and entered the same old café that he had been coming to ever since he'd broken through his block of pride and gotten a job at KaibaCorp. He had a feeling that Kaiba Seto himself had had something to do with it, since he worked in research and development. But he scarcely saw Kaiba, and when he did, the tall brunet ignored him more than he didn't.

"Jounouchi!" Bakura Ryou waved at him from his place behind the counter. He'd owned this café for two years now, and Jounouchi made it a point to come here every chance he got. Everything served there was a cut above everywhere else, at least as far as he was concerned. The fact it was one his best friends running it, and he got a discount because of that, didn't have _that_ much to do with it. "The usual?"

"Yeah, sure. No rush on it, though." He was just going home to his apartment. It was better than the one he'd grown up in, but in a way even lonelier, because no one was there waiting for him, not even a drunken father. His heart stung ever so faintly at that. He missed his father, but he tried not to think hard about it, especially when he was in this place. It was just too full of light to think about something so sad.

He settled down into his usual place, and leaned back to wait for his drink to get there. A quick glance around showed a crowd of people, most of whom he vaguely recognized in one way or another. He didn't really know them, but he'd seen their faces many other times while he was there.

Then there was something new. The mere sight of it sent a shiver down his spine, and his fingers clenched into fists at once. That hair…it was too spiky. Far too spiky. It would have been _nice_ if it were Malik somehow, back for a visit, but they'd kept in touch with e-mail, and he knew the Egyptian wasn't due back in town for at least three months.

He tried to tell himself that he was just being too paranoid. That it was just someone with spiky blond hair, that was all. After all, about all he could see of whoever it was _was_ that hair. It was hardly enough to send him stomping over there and demanding to know how he'd come back from the dead.

The stranger turned a little, and Jounouchi shot to his feet, not caring anymore. He could _see_ who they were now, and he was not going to let this stand without saying something! He stalked right over and glared down at the other as fiercely as he could. "How the hell did _you_ get here?"

"Much as you did. I walked in through the front door." The dark-skinned blond looked up, and Jounouchi blinked a few times. No. it wasn't. This was…but he'd seen… "Do I know you?"

Jounouchi shook his head, confused. He knew that he'd seen Malik's darkness when he'd looked at this guy from his seat. But now that he was standing there, he looked different. His skin was still burned dark by the Egyptian sun and his hair was still blond as could be. But the eyes were a rich, dark gray, and his face looked different. It was still sharply planed, but there was no gleaming eye of Horus on the forehead, and his mouth looked a little kinder, as if he wasn't used to cursing people with the ease that most everyone else breathed. Jounouchi was no expert on faces, but he could tell this was just _different_ from the dark shadow he'd fought before.

"Um…well, you kind of look like someone I used to know." His skin tightened and darkened at the words. He'd just made a fool of himself, and he knew it. He'd thought those days were gone with high school. Apparently, he was a lot more wrong than he'd ever imagined.

"It's not the first time I've heard that." The other's lips twitched a little, and a chill ran down Jounouchi's spine again. As different as this person was, there was still that first moment, and something about that near-smile didn't strike him as _right_. "Amir Thammuz." He held out his hand, and for a moment, Jounouchi only stared at it before he remembered his manners enough to take it.

"Jounouchi Katsuya." He said, shaking Amir's hand. "Sorry about that. I really don't like the guy I thought you were, and as far as I know he's dead anyway so…"

Amir raised one eyebrow briefly, in a way Jounouchi had never been able to manage for himself, no matter how hard he'd tried when he was twelve years old. "Do people you know frequently come back from the dead?"

"Well, not all the time, but I've heard about something sort of like that," Jounouchi muttered. He didn't know if being sealed into a magical gold item counted as coming back from the dead, but he didn't know it didn't, either.

The other laughed, and again fear clenched itself around Jounouchi's spine. It sounded so _much_ like Malik's dark shadow. For that matter, Amir's voice itself sounded a lot like the other's, only being a little deeper. It was uncanny. No, it was _creepy_ and Jounouchi wished he hadn't even come over there.

Amir motioned to the empty seat across from him. "Since we know each other now, why not have a seat? I've just moved into the area, and I haven't met very many people yet."

Jounouchi hesitated for a moment, then slid into the offered seat. He'd just catch the waitress's eye when she came with his drink. "What made you come here?" It sounded like a suitable enough question to start with.

"Looking for an old friend." Amir looked a trifle amused. "I haven't seen him in a while and we didn't part on the best of terms either. There was a lot I wanted to tell him before I had to leave the last time, and I just didn't get a chance."

"What's his name? I might know him?" Jounouchi couldn't shake that feeling of dread, but he also couldn't get rid of the desire to help someone who might need it.

"I doubt you'd know him. He's only just moved to this area himself." Amir toyed briefly with the coffee in his cup, staring down into the black liquid. "But if I don't see him again, it might not be all that bad."

Jounouchi wasn't sure still what to make of any of this. He was relieved of the need to do so by the pretty waitress heading towards his former table. "Hey, Maeda! I'm over here now!"

Maeda stopped, blinked a couple of times, then hurried over there. "Sorry. I thought you were…"

"I was, I just came over here." He took the drink and settled it down before him. "I'm going to be eating with Amir here tonight."

"Sure, no problem." Maeda nodded, then looked at Amir. "Is there anything else you need, sir?"

The blond shook his head calmly. "No, thank you." He dismissed her with a flick of his fingers, and Jounouchi felt that same shiver. It made no sense, but he couldn't fight it off anyway. There was something oddly _wrong_ about everything that Amir had said, yet none of it felt like a lie.

The two of them fell into talking, Amir finishing off the remains of his meal and what was left of his coffee while Jounouchi got started on what he was served a short while later. It seemed that it had been Bakura who had made the same mistake Jounouchi had when Amir had entered this place.

"He mentioned a name: Malik Ishtar. Does that mean anything to you?" Amir wondered.

"Kind of. It's hard to explain without getting into a whole lot that's not really my business to talk about." Jounouchi scooped up some rice and stuffed it into his mouth so he wouldn't have to talk for a few minutes. He really wanted to think more about what he was saying, but thinking around Amir was hard. Everything in his mind suddenly seemed to be covered in a thick, sticky coating of honey. As hard as he tried, doing anything beyond sitting there was too much work.

He just managed to finish his mouthful and swallow some coffee before his hand dropped away into his lap and he realized vaguely that he was simply sitting there. Amir looked at him, one side of his mouth higher than the other in a faint mocking smile.

"You really haven't changed a bit," he murmured softly. Jounouchi wanted to know what he meant, but before he could force the question out of his mouth, Amir leaned over and kissed him deeply and thoroughly on the lips. Even if he hadn't been mostly numbed, Jounouchi didn't think that he could have moved for sheer surprise. He had just been _kissed_! By someone he scarcely knew!

Amir leaned back after a moment, his attention still on Jounouchi, but a hint more of thoughtfulness and possessiveness gleaming through his eyes. Jounouchi thought he caught a glimpse of violet in them now, instead of that glass-gray that he'd seen before. He tried to move his head, wanting a better look, but his neck just wouldn't move, no matter how hard he tried. _Damn it! What the hell's going on?_ Even to himself, his thoughts moved along as slowly as the proverbial molasses.

"This place is a little too public." Amir appeared to be musing to himself, but he looked up as Maeda returned to their table. "I'll be covering Jounouchi's dinner. He's not feeling well, so I'm going to take him home."

Maeda nodded cheerfully, and Jounouchi tried yet again to get himself to move, to say something, or just to _do_ something. He was partially successful: he blinked his eyelids. Twice.

"Jounouchi?" It was Bakura. The blond might have leaped in joy, if he hadn't been completely unable to move at all. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"

Bakura would have to figure out that something was wrong when he didn't answer! He wouldn't be sitting like this forever!

Then he heard something that once again shocked him to the core: his own voice answering, his lips and tongue moving as if none of the rest of it had ever happened. "It's nothing. Just a lot more tired than I thought I was, Bakura. Don't worry about it." He even waved a hand casually, as he normally would have.

How in the _hell_ was this happening? He'd only felt like this once before, when he'd been under the control of the Millennium Rod. Even _that_ hadn't been this bad, really. He hadn't actually noticed anything he was doing. It had been as if he'd seen everything through a thick layer of tinted glass. _This_ was so much worse that he couldn't even begin to imagine it.

Gray fog wrapped around his mind, keeping him from seeing, speaking, or doing more than the barest thinking. Then, out of the fog, there came a voice slithering into his ear.

_It's been too long since last I saw you. There were many plans I had for you, the least of which would have ended with your death. But death is really not all that bad in the end. Insanity is __**so**__ much more interesting._

Jounouchi was willing to agree with that. Death was just _death_. But if you lost your mind, there was no ending _but_ death, and that might not come for ages, depending on what was going on. Chills ran down his spine as fingers brushed by his cheek. He did what he could to pull away, but no matter how hard he tried, he didn't move so much as an inch.

_You always fight so hard. That's what I love about you. You refuse to give up._

There was an edge to that word 'love' that sent Jounouchi's stomach twirling and churning. He was certain he would have thrown up if he'd had the chance.

"I don't love you!" He spat the words out, and was surprised to even hear them. Was whatever hold the bastard had weakening? No matter what name he'd given before or how he'd looked different, Jounouchi didn't doubt for a moment that it was Malik's darkness, that filthy shadow, that held him in his grasp once again.

The fingers left one side of his face and touched the other. "I know. I don't care. Love is one of the most inventive ways to send someone insane, you know. And if you don't, you'll learn." Down past his cheek the fingers went, to grip his chin tightly. "You'll learn _so_ much from me, Jounouchi Katsuya."

"I don't want to learn anything!" How many times was he going to have to tell this creep _no_ before he learned? Even Hirutani had finally figured things out, and if throwing this guy off of a roof was what it took, Jounouchi was more than ready to do it. "Not from you!"

"Of course you don't. If you did, I wouldn't bother with you." Malik dropped Jounouchi's chin and the gray fog began to roll in more thickly. "Rest."

There was no way to argue that command. The fog took away all of his senses before he even had a chance to think about fighting it.

* * *

When Jounouchi woke up, he didn't know where he was. That had happened once or twice before, usually due to street fights or the occasional duel that had short circuited his brain. But this was entirely different. He did remember most of what had been going on. He'd been going home from work, he'd stopped at Bakura's café for dinner, and then…

He started to get up, and as soon as he did, the gray fog was all around him again. It dissipated only a few moments later, but he was back down on the bed, as dizzy as he could be. The one time he'd had a hangover had been _pleasant_ compared to this.

"What the hell…" he muttered under his breath as he tried to figure out once again what had happened. He gripped the sides of the bed and closed his eyes, fighting to think more clearly. Now he could feel the fog on the edges of his mind, as if it was just _waiting_ for him to put a foot outside of invisible lines, at which time it would envelop him all over again.

"Leaving so soon? How rude." A familiar, and utterly hated, voice spoke from not that far away. Jounouchi looked around until he saw an opened door, and leaning in that door was Malik's darkness. He still looked much as he had when he'd been calling himself 'Amir Thammuz', if only in the slight change of the slant of his features. His eyes were once again pale lavender, and now lit with the same madness that Jounouchi remembered so clearly. He wore a pair of black slacks and a black muscle shirt that left little to the imagination with the way it clung to his body. His forehead was still blank of the symbol that had burned there once before, but Jounouchi knew he could recognize this shadow in the flesh anywhere.

"What do you think you're doing with me?" Jounouchi demanded. "Where am I?" He didn't bother with telling the shadow that his friends would get him out of here. He didn't intend to wait around that long. If he could, he'd make certain he was out of here before they even knew he was gone in the first place.

The shadow-flesh remained where he was, a mocking grin twisting his features. "Anything I want. And more interestingly, anything _you_ want. They'll be the same thing soon enough. So you shouldn't worry about it." That didn't even come close to getting rid of any of Jounouchi's anger. If anything, what he said fanned the flames even higher.

"What I want is to be out of here and never see your ugly face again!" Even as he said the words, a small voice in the back of his mind wondered how true that was. For one thing, hadn't he had this one in his thoughts ever since he'd first shown up? For another, Malik Ishtar was a very attractive person, and this broken off piece of him hadn't fallen _that_ far in the good looks factor. In some ways of thinking, he might even have been _better_ looking.

"That's what you think you want. That isn't what you want." He was corrected as if he were a small child. Jounouchi had never liked that tone, even when he had _been_ a little kid. The darkness only smiled at him, an indulgent, self-serving expression, then came over to him.

"You've got to be kidding." Jounouchi shook his head, trying not to breathe too quickly the closer the other drew. The shadow _was_ gorgeous, a kind of twisted dark beauty that reminded him of a succubus. Even if there really weren't succubi, or if they did exist, they were female. It was the only thing he could think of, especially as the other laid a hand calmly on his chest and chuckled to feel his heart racing.

"I don't joke. Not like that." The darkness didn't move an inch once he settled beside Jounouchi on the bed, his fingers still splayed across the Japanese man's chest, which quickly rose and fell with his breath, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. "You're scared of me. I can tell."

Jounouchi spat out a denial as quickly as he'd ever uttered anything in his life. He knew it was a lie as soon as he said it. There weren't that many things that could scare him, not after the life he'd lived, but this beast had reached the list. In fact, he dominated the list. Jounouchi's anger at him in Battle City had canceled out the fear, and that rage was still there, smoldering, but without something extra to fuel it, like what had happened to Mai, he wondered how long he could hold it. Could it burn brightly enough with whatever the darkness tried to do to him? He wanted it to. That could be his way out.

He fought for something to keep the other from doing anything to him. "How did you get back here? I thought Malik got rid of you." He didn't really care that much for the answer, but if it delayed or distracted or just gave him some time, it was worth it.

"Hm. What's that worth to you?" The dark Malik tilted his head slightly and smirked at Jounouchi. "I think three kisses would pay for it." His fingers brushed across Jounouchi's chest. "Of course that will mean you'll have to pay a higher price for your dinner. But it's up to you."

What came out of Jounouchi's mouth just then was not fit for anyone's ears. Malik's shadow only smiled to hear it. "Such a sour flavoring to your kisses. I'm going to enjoy it." He leaned over and gave Jounouchi no time to move before he'd kissed him once, twice, and then three times, sucking all the breath out of him that he possibly could each time. When it was over, Jounouchi leaned back against the pillow, gasping softly for breath. The fog threatened to envelop him again, and he tried as hard as he could to think clearly, or just to think at all. It was hardly possible.

"I'm sure you noticed I had control of the Millennium Ring during a brief time in Battle City." The words slowly seeped into his mind. Jounouchi paid attention, if only to have something to think about to keep himself from falling into the fog. "While I had it, I experimented briefly with some of the powers it held, including that of sealing souls into objects. I placed a piece of _my_ soul…or whatever it is I have that passes for one…inside one of the cards in my deck. When that duel with the Pharaoh came to it's end and my _other_," and he spat the word out as vehemently as any denial Jounouchi had ever had, "surrendered, what was left of me fled to that card. I was unable to do anything then. I couldn't see or hear or know of anything that was going on. It was worse than when I was only a part of _him_."

Pity flickered briefly in Jounouchi's heart, and he tried not to let it show. But the story wasn't over with yet.

"I remained sleeping in that card, and slowly attempted to build some kind of strength. The card was a good one for that, as I already knew it better than any of the others, and it knew me." Jounouchi was treated, if that could be the right word, to a triumphant smirk. "It was, of course, the Winged Dragon of Ra I was in. When the Pharaoh and Yuugi had their duel, I still slept in there. I was still no more able to accomplish anything than if I were the most helpless of children. But when the Pharaoh lost and the Items fell into the earth, I was cast free, shaped into my own form, and with only the very smallest powers of magic at my command. Minor illusions at best." Malik's shadow touched Jounouchi's face again. "And a brief link to you. You, who had been touched very deeply by the power of the Rod. I was linked to it, powered by it, for all of my existence, and it fed my own darkness well. Of all the people in this modern time, you had your own ties to it, tied with strings that you had shattered during your duel with Yuugi. They were shattered, but not destroyed, as with everyone else. None of them had any more emotional ties to those bonds. You…you _hate_ so deliciously, no matter how hard you try to hide it. Because of that hate for me, which couldn't die, I was able to find the ends of those strings, and I pulled them close to me, tightening them around it." He caressed it gently. "The more of them I hold, the more of you I hold, and the more of you I hold, the more there is of _me_."

Jounouchi's eyes widened as he began to take all of that in. "That's why I keep dreaming of you!"

"Yes. For five years I've been busy, building first my control of what little powers I have, and tightening the grip I've had on you, until I was certain I could bring you to me without any troubles whatsoever." The shadow brushed darkened fingers through Jounouchi's hair. "You gave yourself to me, and there's nothing to argue about it. Hate is as powerful as love, and I love you as I hate you." He leaned in more closely, and whispered softly into Jounouchi's ear, his breath sending shivers down the other's spine. "Even as you hate me and love me at the same time."

More kisses, stealing away his breath, his ability to think about anything but the beast in front of him. He thought somewhere in the middle of the kisses that he was kissing back, but he couldn't think clearly enough to be certain. Pleasure and pain mixed in equal measures, small cries of words that he couldn't hear clearly and doubted he would have understood if he had in the first place, all of that poured into him and out of him, and none of it made the least bit of sense.

All he knew was that when he could think again, it was _much_ later, and he was alone again in the room, his entire body aching, and a plate on a table to the side, with the remains of a meal for two on it. Had they eaten together? He shook his head; he wanted to be able to at least string ten minutes of solid thought together.

He stared at the side of the bed thoughtfully. _Am I gonna pass out again if I try to get up?_ If it meant he would have to go through another bout of words with Malik's darkness, he wasn't all that sure he wanted to try it. Part of him shivered in sheer pleasure at the thought. The rest of him squirmed in mental anguish at the same thought.

_You hate me and love me at the same time._ The words rang over in his head, and he shuddered away from them. He didn't, he couldn't love that beast. Hate him. That was easy. That was almost _fun_ in a way. He hadn't hated anyone since Hirutani. Kaiba had gotten on his nerves in more ways than he could count, but none of it had built up enough to be hate. Not like what he felt for the reborn shadow.

But…and he didn't like to think about it…weren't hate and love almost the same thing in a twisted way? He shook his head sharply. "Like _hell_!" He didn't care who he was talking to. It could be himself or the darkness or a weird combination of both or just the air around him, but he said it anyway. He did _not_ love that beast!

But…he was exotically gorgeous. Easy on the eyes. That didn't mean he loved him. It did mean he was gay. Or bisexual. Bisexual sounded a lot better, especially right now, because it meant that no matter what, he'd still find girls attractive, and he wanted to find _anyone_ attractive who wasn't the Egyptian shadow.

But…something had happened that he couldn't remember, and it made his body ache in a way that he suspected he'd find repulsive if he actually did recall what had happened. Not just because of what had happened, but because of who it was with. For a being of darkness, he certainly knew how to kiss. And other things. Many other things.

But…

There were too many buts, and other kinds of needs were prodding at him to be answered. Even if it meant he was going to have to deal with _him_ again, Jounouchi couldn't stop himself from getting up carefully. The gray fog didn't come surging in, and as he brought himself to his feet, he looked around to see if he could find a bathroom. A door that wasn't the one his tormentor had used was half-hidden in the shadows, and he carefully walked over there. The door led to exactly what he needed, and he took care of his business quickly. He also looked over his shoulder several times, trying to see if the other would show up unexpectedly.

Either Malik's darkness wasn't interested in Jounouchi's bodily functions, or he had other things to do, as the blond finished what he was doing without being disturbed. He took a few steps back towards the bed, then looked at the door the other had been in when he was awake earlier. He moved as quickly as he could to get over there, not bothering to think about it. If he thought, Malik's shadow might find out about it and be there to stop him.

He stopped before he got too far, then headed back towards the bed. He had no intention of getting back in it. There was something else he wanted: the clothes that he'd been wearing. There was no way he was escaping this place bare naked. He wasn't in so much pain that dressing took up more time than usual, then he started back to the exit.

_Wish I'd had my cell with me._ He'd run down the battery the night before talking to Yuugi about things…or was that two nights ago now? He couldn't be sure with the way he faded out so much, and he couldn't find his watch anywhere. At any rate, he hadn't had it with him since it had been charging. That could've helped him a lot.

There was no sign of the other around as Jounouchi left the bedroom and found himself in a living room. As far as he could tell, this was just a normal apartment in Domino City. The view outside the window was even vaguely familiar, and he frowned, trying to think of why it was so.

Then it hit him, and he paled, hurrying for the door. He had to get out. Not just out of the apartment, but out of the building, and as far away from that area as he could manage. Maybe Yuugi would let him crash there for a few days until he could find a way to break his lease without too many consequences.

Malik's shadow had an apartment in Domino City: one that was right next door to his own.

The front door wasn't locked. Jounouchi didn't even bother worrying about why. Maybe the dark beast was taking care of his own needs and didn't think Jounouchi could get away. Maybe he was asleep or not even there at all and had forgotten. It didn't matter; Jounouchi could and did get out.

He went to his apartment first, fumbling in his pockets for the key until he found it, and then hurried inside. It didn't take him long to pack up enough things for two or three days, then he left, not bothering to lock it behind him. He didn't intend to go back there without at least some of his friends to back him up, and if anyone else broke in there, they wouldn't find anything that he considered worth keeping anyway. They'd be welcome to it.

As he passed the other's door, it swung open, and the dark one stood there, amused. Jounouchi kept on going, not wanting to give him a chance to say or do anything, but words pressed into his mind as lips had pressed against his.

_Shadows are forever, Katsuya. I'm not going anywhere._

The sound of his given name, something he hadn't even told _Yuugi_ that he could use, shot through him as if it were lava. Jounouchi didn't look back. He was afraid if he did, he wouldn't be able to leave at all. He hurried down the stairs and out the door and to the bus stop at the end of the street. He hadn't bothered to check out the day or the time until now, but his cell phone now told him both. He'd left work on a Friday afternoon, and now it was early Monday morning. He might have been late to work, but he didn't care. While he waited for the bus, he dialed up his supervisor and told her that he wouldn't be able to make it in that day for personal reasons.

_Personal reasons. There's a psychopath that thinks he's in love with me and he hates me at the same time. And he thinks that I love him and hate him too. Yeah. That's really personal._ Doing this could cost him his job, but not doing it could cost him a lot more, and in the general balance of things, Jounouchi was willing to risk his job for his sanity.

* * *

Three weeks. Three weeks had passed since he'd first met 'Amir Thammuz' and had found out who he was. He'd stayed all three of those weeks at the Kame Game Shop. Yuugi had listened to every word he'd had to say, and then had summed it all up with a simple, "You're staying here." There hadn't been any question about it.

There had also been no sign of the shadow. Jounouchi hadn't let anyone else know what was going on. _None of them need to know. Just Yuugi._ He trusted them all, but Yuugi was his brother in everything that wasn't blood. That went _beyond_ trust. He'd thought about telling Malik, but how could he bring himself to tell the Egyptian that his dark side was still around, still causing trouble, and now didn't need Malik's body to do it? He told himself a hundred times a day that he would do tell him, since really, Malik did deserve to know. He stared at the phone at least ten times a day, preparing to call. Twice he called Malik and talked about everything but the beast.

As hard as Jounouchi tried, though, it wasn't precisely true to say that there wasn't any sign of the dark shadow. He still haunted Jounouchi's dreams, no matter how hard Jounouchi tried to deny it. Now that he knew _why_ he dreamed, it was almost impossible to get him to sleep.

He stared at the bed a little nervously, then stared even more nervously at the pills in his hand. _I've gotta get some sleep. It's gonna start making me screw up at work if I don't._ He started to put them in his mouth, then stopped. _I'll do it tomorrow._ Besides, if he started taking pills to get to sleep, wasn't that kind of like letting the bastard win? He refused to let any control of his life slip out of his own hands, even with something that _he_ decided on when he took or not. _And they could just screw me up worse._

Getting into bed, turning off the light, and closing his eyes was probably one of the bravest acts that Jounouchi had ever done. He tried not to think about how much more he noticed the shadows and the darkness these days. They were just everywhere. Even in the clean lights of KaibaCorp, he could spy a shadow somewhere, a tiny patch of darkness that hid and waited for the lights to go out so it could grow larger.

_Yeah, and if I go babbling that stuff to anyone who isn't Yuugi, they're going to lock me away._ The thought of an insane asylum was oddly attractive on some days. But he didn't think he'd ever end up in one. Yuugi looked out for him too well for that to happen.

Usually he fell asleep without too many problems. Tonight he laid there and stared at the wall. He wasn't sure of why: until he felt a presence beside him on the bed, and he knew the door hadn't opened. Familiar fingers touched his forehead, then brushed through his hair.

"What do you want?" he asked, not bothering to open his eyes. He could pretend it was a dream that way.

"You know what I want." The touch was possessive and oddly tender. It would be amazingly easy to get used to it. He shoved the thought away. He was _not_ going to be used to it. "And I know that I am going to get what I want. Love and hate, Katsuya."

"Stop calling me that!" Jounouchi commanded. It was no more obeyed than anything he'd ever said to Malik's darkness had been.

"Hate and love. It's impossible to have one without the other, like darkness and light. Light casts shadows, which are darkness. Take away the light, there's darkness. The light creates darkness whether it exists…or doesn't exist. You _cannot_ escape it."

Jounouchi found his eyes opening and he saw the dark beast there, as calm in the room as if he'd been invited into it freely. He groped after words, but nothing came. That wasn't the case for the other, sadly enough.

"You're fighting what you want because you're scared of it. Scared of me. You should be." Malik's shadow leaned in more closely to him. "But you can love me and fear me at the same time. I love you and hate you and it doesn't bother _me_."

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly the poster boy for sanity, you know." Jounouchi rolled his eyes, feeling more like himself than he'd been since this whole ordeal had begun with those words. He'd actually managed a sentence that made some kind of sense around the invader, who just laughed.

"Come with me, Jounouchi. Learn what love and hate are really like." He leaned in and kissed, his lips as soft as the wings of a butterfly. "What will it cost you? A job that you don't even really want? That you had to give up your pride to take, from someone you don't like?"

"Doesn't matter if I don't like him or not. It pays good and I like doing it." After all, it wasn't everyone, even in Domino City, who got paid to play games like he did, much less to think up new ones and refine older ones. "And I _do_ want it."

Another kiss, and these filled him with something he couldn't name, instead of draining away his will to resist. "Come with me. He'll keep the job open for you: there isn't anyone else who he'd like to have it but you. You're his guinea pig. You did it without pay in Battle City. You faced down Ra so he would see the secrets for himself, without having to know the fear firsthand."

Jounouchi winced; he'd known that almost from the first moment he'd known he would be dueling someone with a God Card. With _that_ God Card no less. But hearing it didn't put any kind of a better face on it.

"Come with me." Malik's shadow whispered. "You need to. You want to."

Jounouchi closed his eyes, and felt the kisses raining down on him again and again. Did he want this? He was scared that he did. He didn't know why, only that it was something that pulled at him. Did he have a pull to the darkness, to the shadows? He wouldn't be the first person in the world if it were so. He just would have to learn to control it.

_Can I do it if I don't know what it is I'm doing?_ He'd seen some darkness, but it wasn't anything like was being offered here, the teasing, tantalizing dance of shadows that tugged at his heart and soul. He could come back. He wouldn't be in there forever. He wouldn't be with _him_ forever. If he couldn't find his way back, Yuugi would come for him. Yuugi always came for him.

Slowly, he sat up, his eyes opening. The darkness beside him moved slightly to the side as he reached for a pen and paper. Smugness hovered over the other's lips and he watched as Jounouchi wrote a note and left it pinned to his pillow. Once that was done, Jounouchi turned and leaned in to kiss the other for the first time of his own will. He was scared. He didn't deny it. He knew deep inside he was making a mistake, but it was his to make, and he'd find a way to deal with the consequences one day.

The cloak that the other wore, that he hadn't seen until now, wrapped around them both, and in a flutter of darkness, they were both gone.

Yuugi found the note there the next morning and stared, unable to believe what he was seeing.

_Yuugi, I gotta go with him. For a while, at least. A few days, maybe a few weeks. But I'll be back, you can count on that. Tell Kaiba I'll be back on the job when I do get back. See you then. Jounouchi._

He stared at it over and over, reading it, turning it this way and that to see if there was any kind of hint or clue in it to where Jounouchi might be or why he'd made this decision. But there wasn't anything, no matter how hard he looked. The note became one of his most prized possessions as the days and weeks flowed by. He read it multiple times, holding fast to the belief that Jounouchi would keep his promise and return one day.

The shadows seldom give up what they want, even if what they took wanted to leave in the first place. In a realm of midnight and noon, where love and hate are one and are forever, Jounouchi Katsuya spent the rest of his days with the shadow of Malik Ishtar, each of them as eternal as the other.

For light, like shadow, is forever.

**The End**


End file.
